I think about failure a lot. Probably because I am really good at it. In fact, I would venture to say that I am somewhat of an expert when it comes to failing. I have a history of practicing, planning, and meticulously executing failure in my life. I’m not proud of it, and when I am it is probably more denial and self-protection than actual excitement.

Why write about failure, especially so glibly? When I think of children growing up, adults tend to tell them to embrace their failures so that they can learn from them. It isn’t a get out of jail free card, but rather advice born of repeating mistakes and having to face similar consequences repeatedly. Even God wants us to learn from our mistakes. He disciplines so that His people will learn and grow. We are given examples of the lives of good and evil people to try and discern where they went wrong. And when we fail, because we will, God has promised us grace and love. This process is sometimes called sanctification, a process whereby we are made more like the image of God through is guidance.

We see, then, that God is forgiving, and even others are forgiving, but what about ourselves? Think about the forgiveness offered by others and God. It comes with love which is unconditional and restoration which often includes facing unpleasant consequences. When I fail, I often dwell on the things I hate in myself and sit in pity, often in front of a TV with food in hand. Isn’t that the exact opposite of forgiveness? When we fail and treat ourselves with contempt followed by a backhanded reward, we actually reinforce negative behavior. It creates a system in which we are more at peace in failure than success. Success means more work. Failure means more leisure.

Breaking the cycle, then, is no easy affair. First, we have to take our failures to God and allow His love for us to overpower our disappointment in ourselves. Second, we must face consequences instead of hiding behind comfort. Finally, we need to see success in a way which promotes the joy it brings not only to ourselves but to those around us. Eventually, we just might find that failure is less appealing and success may not be such a bad thing after all.

Pax,

Paul Hart Cochran